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Immovably fascinated by the world; it's properties, people, conditions, sensations, irony,
and all the amazing moments which, whether by enlightenment or scarring, bring about permanent change.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

lush life

ol jazz standard written by billy strayhorn in '49

the lyrics below are as sung by dianne reeves
(i heard this on the radio and loved her version.
by coincidence; she sings it in george's film Good Night and Good Luck)

i used to visit all the very gay places -
those come-what-may places
where one relaxes on the axis of the wheel of life
to get the feel of life...
from jazz and cocktails.

the girls I knew had sad and sullen gray faces -
with distant gay traces
that used to be there you could see where
they'd been washed away
by too many through the day...
twelve o'clock-tails

then you came along with your siren's song
to tempt me to madness
I thought for a while that your poignant smile
was tinged with the sadness
of a great love for me.
I was wrong.
ah yes, I was wrong...

and only last year everything seemed so sure.
now life is awful again
life is lonely again.
and the thoughtful of heart
could only be a bore.

a week in paris will ease the bite of it.
all I care is to smile in spite of it.
I'll forget you, I will
and yet, you are still
burning inside my brain.

romance is mush
stifling those who strive.
I'll live a lush life in some small dive...
and there I'll be
while I rot with the rest
of those whose lives are lonely, too..

Friday, May 25, 2012

ankle sprain

i sprained my ankle in san francisco...
(hey! that might make a good song!)

3 weeks. still recovering...

the ligament is stretched beyond normal range,
resulting in a tear, spraining the ankle.

grades of sprain

grade 1 - minor swelling/pain for 1-2 weeks
grade 2 - more swelling/pain for 4-6 weeks
grade 3 - worse swelling/pain for 8-12 weeks

correct healing techniques are required for full recovery

RICE right away is an important part
and obtain advice from a doctor

physical therapy and exercise
will reduce swelling/pain, and strengthen ankle muscles

incorrect treatment is case for future issues
and increased chance of re-injury

tips from:
photos from goodle images

Thursday, May 17, 2012

alan turing

born june 23rd 1912 in london, died june 7th 1954 in cheshire, england, age 41
mathematician, logician, cryptanalyst, computer scientist
widely considered to be the father of computer science and artificial intelligence

early in life, he showed signs of genius.

in 1926, at 14, he was enrolled in the famous independent Sherborne School.
His first day coincided with the General Strike in britain,
but he was so determined to attend, that bicycled alone 60+miles to the school,
stopping overnight at an inn.

alan was a talented long-distance runner, capable of world-class marathon standards.
if he was needed for high-level meetings in london, he occasionally ran the 40miles.

he was stocky, talkative, witty, scholarly,
and showed characteristics of Asperger syndrome
(an autism spectrum disorder
characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction,
alongside restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests)

"his high-pitched voice already stood out
above the general murmur of well-behaved junior executives
grooming themselves for promotion within the Bell corporation.
then he was suddenly heard to say:
'no, I'm not interested in developing a powerful brain.
all I'm after is just a mediocre brain,
something like the president of the american telephone and telegraph company."
-andrew hodges
describing an incident which occurred in the ny at&t lab cafeteria in 1943

some of his eccentricities included;

-in the first week of june each year he would get a bad attack of hay fever,
and he would cycle to the office wearing a service gas mask to keep the pollen off.

-his bicycle had a fault: the chain would come off at regular intervals.
instead of having it mended he would count the number of times the pedals went round
and would get off the bicycle in time to adjust the chain by hand.

-he chained his mug to the radiator pipes to prevent it being stolen.

alan's first love interest was christopher morcom.
only a few weeks into their last term at Sherborne,
christopher died suddenly from complications of bovine tuberculosis
(contracted after drinking infected cow's milk as a boy).

this shattered alan's religious faith, and he became an atheist.
he adopted the conviction that all phenomena, including the workings of the human brain,
must be materialistic, but he still believed in the survival of the spirit after death.


at King's College in Cambridgem, he graduated with first-class honors in mathematics.

in WW2, he worked in britain's code-breaking center.
within weeks of arriving, he devised a number of techniques for breaking german ciphers,
including the method of the bombe,
an electromechanical machine that could decode the Enigma machine
(more effectively than the Polish bomba kryptologiczna, from which its name was derived)

"turing's most important contribution, I think,
was of part of the design of the bombe, the cryptanalytic machine.
he had the idea that you could use, in effect, a theorem in logic
which sounds to the untrained ear rather absurd;
namely that from a contradiction, you can deduce everything."
-jack good

for a time he was head of Hut 8,
the section responsible for german naval cryptanalysis.
towards the end of the war,
he developed a portable secure voice scrambler codenamed Delilah.

"the pioneer's work always tends to be forgotten
when experience and routine later make everything seem easy
and many of us in Hut 8 felt that the magnitude of turing's contribution
was never fully realized by the outside world."
-hugh alexander

in 1942, he devised a technique termed Turingery (or jokingly Turingismus)
for use against the Lorenz cipher messages
produced by the germans' new Geheimschreiber (secret writer) machine.

"he was particularly fond of little programming tricks
and would chuckle with boyish good humor at any little tricks I may have used.
-james h. wilkinson

though, alan was not directly involved in the Colossus
(the world's first programmable digital electronic computer)
he introduced the Tunny team to Tommy Flowers who (with Max Newman)
went on to build the Colossus.

alan's two papers discussing mathematical approaches to code-breaking
were of such value that they were not released to the UK National Archives until April 2012.

addressing the problem of artificial intelligence,
alan proposed an experiment which became known as the Turing test,
an attempt to define a standard for a machine to be called "intelligent".
the idea was that a computer could be said to "think"
if a human interrogator could not tell it apart, through conversation, from a human.

he suggested that rather than building a program to simulate the adult mind,
it would be better rather to produce a simpler one to simulate a child's mind
and then to subject it to a course of education.
a reversed form of the Turing test is widely used on the Internet;
the CAPTCHA test is intended to determine whether the user is a human or a computer.

in 1948, alan and D. G. Champernowne,
began writing a chess program for a computer that did not yet exist.

in 1941, he proposed marriage to Joan Clarke (Hut 8 co-worker /mathematician /cryptanalyst),
but their engagement was short-lived when he admitted his homosexuality
(Joan was reportedly "unfazed" by the revelation)
in 1952, Arnold Murray, a former lover, broke into alan's house.
he reported the crime to the police.
during the investigation, he acknowledged a sexual relationship.
homosexuality was illegal in the uk, at the time.
as an alternative to prison, alan accepted treatment of female hormones.
this conviction led to the removal of his security clearance,
and barred him from continuing with his cryptographic consultancy


june 8th 1954, alan died from cyanide poisoning.
it is speculated that the fatal dose was delivered by an apple
that lay half-eaten beside his bed (though it was not tested).
his mother argued it an accident caused by her son's careless storage of lab chemicals.
(it's been speculated that alan may have killed himself in a deliberate ambiguous way
to give his mother some plausible deniability)
david leavitt has suggested alan was re-enacting a scene
from the 1937 film Snow White, his favorite fairy tale.
pointing out that he took "an especially keen pleasure
in the scene where the Wicked Witch immerses her apple in the poisonous brew."

the apple.
forbidden love,
newton's theory of gravitation,
and the means of alan's own death.

apple computer's logo is often erroneously referred to as a tribute to alan
the bite mark a reference to his method of suicide.
the designer of the logo and the company deny this.
Steve Jobs' response was, "It isn't true, but God, we wish it were."

in his memory, there are statues, plagues, a postage stamp, a play, a BBC show, books,
university tributes, a bridge and road named after him,
and since 1966, the annual Turing Award has been the computing world's highest honor.

(statue of alan holding an apple)

quotes -

"a computer would deserve to be called intelligent
if it could deceive a human into believing that it was human."

"science is a differential equation.
religion is a boundary condition."

"a man provided with paper, pencil, and rubber,
and subject to strict discipline,
is in effect a universal machine."

“machines take me by surprise with great frequency."


tidbits from:

Monday, May 14, 2012


“Roaring dreams take place in a perfectly silent mind.
Now that we know this, throw the raft away.”
(-The Scripture of the Golden Eternity)

"Don't use the phone.
People are never ready to answer it.
Use poetry."

“the only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live,
mad to talk,
mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time,
the ones who never yawn
or say a commonplace thing,
but burn, burn, burn
like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.”
(from On the Road )

“One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple.”
(from Dharma Bums)

"The only truth is music.”

“I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up
running from one falling star to another till i drop.
This is the night, what it does to you."

“Live, travel, adventure, bless, and don't be sorry.”

"Great things are not accomplished by those
who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion."

"What is that feeling when you're driving away from people
and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing?
- it's the too-huge world vaulting us,
and it's good-bye."

“On soft Spring nights I'll stand in the yard under the stars -
Something good will come out of all things yet -
And it will be golden and eternal just like that -
There's no need to say another word.”
(-Big Sur)

"The best teacher is experience
and not through someone's distorted point of view."

“Let the mind beware, that though the flesh be bugged,
the circumstances of existence are pretty glorious.”

"I believe in order, tenderness, and piety."

"Down on the lake rosy reflections of celestial vapor appeared,
and I said, 'God, I love you' and looked to the sky and really meant it.
'I have fallen in love with you, God.'"

“It always makes me proud to love the world somehow- hate's so easy compared.”
(-Big Sur)

“One man practicing kindness in the wilderness
is worth all the temples this world pulls.”
(-Dharma Bums)

"I woke up as the sun was reddening;
and that was the one distinct time in my life,
the strangest moment of all, when I didn't know who I was
- I was far away from home, haunted and tired with travel,
in a cheap hotel room I'd never seen,
hearing the hiss of steam outside,
and the creak of the old wood of the hotel,
and footsteps upstairs, and all the sad sounds,
and I looked at the cracked high ceiling
and really didn't know who I was for about fifteen strange seconds.
I wasn't scared; I was just somebody else, some stranger,
and my whole life was a haunted life,
the life of a ghost."

“I have lots of things to teach you now, in case we ever meet,
concerning the message that was transmitted to me
under a pine tree in North Carolina on a cold winter moonlit night.
It said that Nothing Ever Happened, so don't worry. It's all like a dream.
Everything is ecstasy, inside. We just don't know it because of our thinking-minds.
But in our true blissful essence of mind is known that everything is alright
forever and forever and forever.
Close your eyes, let your hands and nerve-ends drop, stop breathing for 3 seconds,
listen to the silence inside the illusion of the world,
and you will remember the lesson you forgot,
which was taught in immense milky way soft cloud innumerable worlds long ago and not even at all.
It is all one vast awakened thing. I call it the golden eternity. It is perfect.
We were never really born, we will never really die.
It has nothing to do with the imaginary idea of a personal self, other selves, many selves everywhere:
Self is only an idea, a mortal idea. That which passes into everything is one thing.
It's a dream already ended. There's nothing to be afraid of and nothing to be glad about.
I know this from staring at mountains months on end.
They never show any expression, they are like empty space.
Do you think the emptiness of space will ever crumble away?
Mountains will crumble, but the emptiness of space,
which is the one universal essence of mind, the vast awakenerhood, empty and awake,
will never crumble away because it was never born."
- a letter he wrote to his first wife, Edie in '57 (The Portable Jack Kerouac)

“I felt like lying down by the side of the trail and remembering it all.
The woods do that to you, they always look familiar, long lost,
like the face of a long-dead relative, like an old dream,
like a piece of forgotten song drifting across the water,
most of all like golden eternities of past childhood or past manhood
and all the living and the dying and the heartbreak that went on a million years ago."
(-Dharma Bums)


Belief & Technique For Modern Prose
by Jack Kerouac

List of Essentials

1. Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for yr own joy
2. Submissive to everything, open, listening
3. Try never get drunk outside yr own house
4. Be in love with yr life
5. Something that you feel will find its own form
6. Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind
7. Blow as deep as you want to blow
8. Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind
9. The unspeakable visions of the individual
10. No time for poetry but exactly what is
11. Visionary tics shivering in the chest
12. In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you
13. Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition
14. Like Proust be an old teahead of time
15. Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog
16. The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye
17. Write in recollection and amazement for yourself
18. Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea
19. Accept loss forever
20. Believe in the holy contour of life
21. Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind
22. Dont think of words when you stop but to see picture better
23. Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning
24. No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge
25. Write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it
26. Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form
27. In praise of Character in the Bleak inhuman Loneliness
28. Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under, crazier the better
29. You're a Genius all the time
30. Writer-Director of Earthly movies Sponsored & Angeled in Heaven


Thursday, May 10, 2012

Guess Who I Saw Today?

as sung by Nancy Wilson

You're so late getting home from the office,
Did you miss your train?
Where you caught in the rain?
No, don't bother to explain.

Can I fix you a quick martini?
As a matter of fact, I'll have one with you,
For, to tell you the truth, I've had quite a day too!

Guess who I saw today, my dear?
I went in town to shop around for something new,
and thought I'd stop and have a bite when I was through.

I looked around for someplace near,
and it occurred to me where I had parked the car,
Thre is a most attractive French cafe and bar.
It really wasn't very far.

The waiter showed me to a dark, secluded corner,
And when my eyes became accustomed to the gloom,
I saw two people at the bar,
who were so much in love, that even I could spot it clear across the room.

Guess who I saw today, my dear?
I've never been so shocked before.
I headed blindly for the door.
They didn't see me passing through,
Guess who I saw today?
Guess who I saw today?
Guess who I saw today?
I saw you!

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